COVID Funeral Assistance
After the passing of a loved one, it is a good idea to let a lawyer figure things out. There are several important documents that you need to gather.
Grief & Healing
The death of someone we care about can be indescribable. We are proud to provide these guides in order to help begin the healing process.
Looking for more information on Veterans? The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs has the answers you are looking for.
Grief & Healing
Here at McCarthy, McKinney & Lawler Funeral, we are able to put you in touch with resources that will help you navigate this process. Loss is one of the most challenging experiences of our lives and we are here to help you with that long after the service is over. We invite anyone in Framingham and surrounding communities to make use of the resources on this page.
The Different Stages of Grief
Grief is a normal, human response to a significant loss. You may have friends that tell you to be strong, don’t cry and many other cliches when they can’t think of anything else to say, but all it does is prolong the grieving process. The only way to deal with grief is to travel through it and work through the emotions that come with it, until you are able to come to peace and acceptance of your loss. It would be terrible to not cry when losing a loved one, and not to feel that sense of loss. Grief is painful, and one of the most difficult experiences you will go through. We can try to avoid the pain. We can try to get over it quickly, often it just does not work that way.
“The only way out is through.”
~ Robert Frost, ‘Servant of Servants’ ~
“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”
~ Thomas Campbell ~
Life After Loss
There is no way around the fact that life will look a little different after the loss of a loved one, whether it was an expected death or a sudden ‘shock’, the death of a loved one will change many things. Spouse, partner, parent, grandparent, sibling, child or friend – losing someone will change a lot of things you did not foresee: your daily routines, maybe your living or financial situation, your source of advice or calm, your plans for the future, your role as a husband, wife or parent. Having to move on without your loved ones is tough and involves many moving parts. It can be very helpful to try to reframe the sadness and feeling of loss into an appreciation of the time that you had with them and a celebration of the life they lived, and how they impacted the people around them.
You're Not Alone
Although loss is a very personal emotion it is not one you have to experience alone. You should be able to speak to your friends and family about how you feel, you may often find that they may also open up to you about a loss they experienced and how they worked their way through it. When you lose a significant person from your life, whatever the relationship, it hurts and nothing takes away from your right to feel the loss and grief grieve the absence of that person from your life. There is no right and a wrong way to grieve – ‘right’ is whatever is the best and most helpful way FOR YOU, not how you grieve compared to someone else. Be willing to talk to your friends and family about how you feel, and what you need from them. Speaking fondly about your loved one will encourage similar stories from other family members and friends, turning grief into remembrance and celebration of a live well lived.
“I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't.”
~ C.S. Lewis, ‘A Grief Observed’ ~
“Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.”
~ Mark Twain ~
Anniversaries & Holidays
Use grief as an invitation to remember your loved one, not forget them. You can use important days on the calendar to celebrate their life rather than grieve their loss. On your loved one’s birthday still make their favorite cake and smile as you remember the joy it would bring them, at the holidays feel free to make changes if they feel right to you, but if they don’t, then don’t make them. If you want to make stuffing at Christmas the way Dad always loved it then go ahead, who cares if no one else likes it – if it comforts you then do it. You will be able to identify many occasions on which you miss your loved one, for the list is long. These can be difficult because they remind us of better days when the person was here, as compared to THIS day where they are not. But try to remember and treasure what you had, and what you still have – the memories and the love that will live on in your heart forever.
After a death, there are many legal details to work out. While it is not necessary to work with a lawyer, it is strongly recommended. The time following a death of a loved one is extremely emotional, and even the closest family may have disagreements. To ensure lasting peace in the family, it is a good idea to let a lawyer figure things out. Before getting in touch with a lawyer, there are several important documents that you need to gather. Those include:
Procedures for bank accounts following death vary regionally. In some areas, bank accounts are automatically frozen after a death. To avoid any complications, the bank should be notified immediately. The bank employees will guide you through the next steps from there.
It’s recommended that a joint account stay open for at least six months to allow you to deposit any cheques that are made out to the deceased. To take a name off a joint bank account, banks require a certified copy of a death certificate.
If the deceased had a safety deposit box in a bank, the contents may be sealed after death and a certified copy of a death certificate will be required to gain access to the contents.
Looking for more information on Veterans? The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs has the answers you are looking for. From Headstones, Markers & Medallions, to Burial Allowance & even forms, you can find this resourceful information on their website at: www.va.gov. Here are a few links to get you started:
The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) furnishes upon request, at no charge to the applicant, a Government headstone or marker for the unmarked grave of any deceased eligible veteran in any cemetery around the world, regardless of their date of death. For eligible veterans that died on or after Nov. 1, 1990, VA may also provide a headstone or marker for graves that are already marked with a private headstone or marker. When the grave is already marked, applicants will have the option to apply for either a traditional headstone or marker, or a new device (available spring 2009).
Flat markers in granite, marble, and bronze and upright headstones in granite and marble are available. The style chosen must be consistent with existing monuments at the place of burial. Niche markers are also available to mark columbaria used for inurnment of cremated remains.
When burial or memorialization is in a national cemetery, state veterans’ cemetery, or military post/base cemetery, a headstone or marker will be ordered by the cemetery officials based on inscription information provided by the next of kin or authorized representative. Spouses and dependents are not eligible for a Government-furnished headstone or marker unless they are buried in a national cemetery, state veteran’s cemetery, or military post/base cemetery. Note: There is no charge for the headstone or marker itself, however arrangements for placing it in a private cemetery are the applicant’s responsibility and all setting fees are at private expense. Important Notice – New Law Concerning Eligibility for Headstones and Markers
It is common to have questions about the funeral process. This section contains some commonly asked questions, to help make this process easier for you. If additional questions arise, please feel free to contact us directly at the funeral home.
A funeral is a ceremony for the living which honors the life a deceased person, prior to burial or cremation. A funeral gives the opportunity for family and friends of the deceased to gather and mourn the passing of their loved one, to share cherished memories, and to celebrate their life. A funeral is a vital first step in helping the bereaved heal after the loss of someone special.
Yes, in fact, more and more people are opting for non-traditional, personalized services. There is no one way to celebrate somebody’s life. Let the funeral director know exactly what your desires are, and they will honor your wishes.
No, It is not necessary to have an obituary notice, but it may be helpful to let the public know about the death and provide them with information about services. Obituaries generally include the deceased’s full name, age, city, and date of birth, as well as the city they were living in when they died. It also includes the name of the deceased’s spouse, along with the names of anyone else significant in their lives, such as parents, children, or grandchildren.
Funeral directors are professionals licensed by the state to perform the necessary duties following a death. They complete all the necessary paperwork, make arrangements for the transportation of the body, and put into action the choices made by the family in regards to the funeral service and the final resting place of the body. In addition, funeral directors are there to provide emotional support and personal guidance in the wake of a loss.
Funeral directors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.
We can arrange to have the remains transported from anywhere in the world. We will assume responsibility and make the proper arrangements to have the remains return to the community.
Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body. It also slows down the decomposition process and enhances the appearance of a body. Embalming gives time to the family of the deceased to arrange a service, and allows for the viewing during the visitation period.
No. In fact, some religions forbid embalming. Some countries do require embalming by law in order for remains to leave or enter the country. If it is not against your religious custom, embalming is generally recommended, especially if there is an extended gap between death and funeral services.
The cost of the funeral depends on the services selected. The average cost of a funeral is between $5,000-$7,000; however, the most basic of services can cost as little as $1000. The cost includes all professional services including transportation, embalming and other preparations, the use of a facility for the ceremony, and the purchase of a casket or urn.
Funerals are labor intensive. A funeral’s cost extends beyond the merchandise, and includes the services of the funeral director. Their role in making the necessary arrangements, filling out forms, and dealing with all the other figures involved after a death (doctors, lawyers, insurance companies). Funeral directors work an average of forty hours per funeral, and the cost of operating a funeral home is included as well. Funeral homes are a 24 hour operation, with extensive facilities that need to be maintained and secured.